Let’s start from the beginning, so you can get a feel for my cunning and devious plan! Firstly, I selected an optimum break through point. You see, behind my tree in the back-right corner is a no-go for the hoomans as I have built my own barricade of little trees and my guards; teddy and bumble bee, (the hoomans call them ‘toyz’). Over a period of months, I dug; I dug in a slow, steady and stealthy pace that left the hoomans clueless. They don’t realise small changes like this as they’re busy cleaning my mess; a distraction. Today the trench was deep enough, and I spread flat like a starfish, squeezing every inch of my ‘cuddly bits’, under the fence.
I breached the chicken wire, emerging on unknown territory, I was in ‘the darkside’, behind enemy lines. My excitement took control of me, my mind flooded with exhilaration, I had a bad case of ‘the zoomies’. An uncontrollable grin struck my face as I sprinted hysterically in circles in my new and well-earnt land. I regained conscious ability over my 4 speeding limbs quickly, knowing I was still in no-mans-land and if I’m spotted or heard now I will be shut in the ‘kit chin’ for a very long 15 minutes, that’s a long time in dog time.
I snuck silently to the far ends of ‘the darkside’, a place I’ve only heard about in stories and seen in my dreams. Expecting miles of fields or hundreds of doggo playmates; what I saw took the air from my lungs… A tall wooden fence stood looking down on me, a second wall only Trump would be proud of! I realised I had another purpose. What’s beyond ‘the darkside’? I WILL find out.