I woke up today on a cold, miserable morning needing to go for ‘wee wees’ and due to the time being slightly past 5am, I decided the ‘hoomans’ have had enough sleep and should now be awoken by my woofer. Daddy came down the stairs slowly and silently, seeming very drowsy and droopy. I grabbed my favourite blanket and walked daddy to the back door so he could release me into MY garden.
After parading and inspecting my territory for a while I returned to grace the ‘hoomans’ with my presence and to my surprise they were all on my side of the horrible wall they call the ‘stare grate’. Mummy grabbed my ‘Arness’ and my walking rope and got me ready for walkies! I knew Christmas was coming, but I didn’t think it was this soon! Early walkies with my entire pack; me of course the Alpha.
I jumped up into the ‘caw’ and away we went. The whole way there I was wondering if I was going into the trees, onto the beach, or even to meet one of my ‘fwends’.
The ‘caw’ kept going further and further from my house and I was starting to get ‘confuzed’… but then the bone dropped … all the trees and buildings we passed were becoming very familiar. I knew where we were going, and my tail dropped.
As we pulled into the ‘caw park’ my worst fears became a reality; the ‘hoomans’ had taken me to the puppy doctors.
Firstly, I refused to jump out of the ‘bowt’, but the ‘hoomans’ were prepared for this; they had bought ‘chickinn’ and dragged me with my walking rope. Secondly, I tried digging my paws into the ground, but again this was of no use as the ‘hoomans’ forcefully lifted me into their arms and carried me in against my will.
Hours in puppy time passed, which to the ‘hoomans’ was about 15 minutes, until the puppy doctor called my name. “Kenzo…?” the man said softly. As I walked in the man gave me pats and rubs on my head and tummy, I thought to myself that it may not be as bad as I remember. Until…
The ‘hooman’ brought out a big long spikey stick he called ‘a needow’ and he stuck it in the back of my neck rolls. As I went to turn around and ‘grr’ the man took it out and said “Done!” And that was it, the ‘hoomans’ took me back to the ‘caw’.
They fooled me this time, but never, EVER again!